Traveling is like making love for me
In fact I feel as though (sometimes)
it may be the only one I know how to embrace
The world surprises me with its
beauty and endless secrets
the people I hardly know embracing me as their child
I'm scared to make love and to be alone
but, vulnerability keeps me alive
Uncertainty excites me



Imagination
is
Creationism

misinterpretation
is NOT a false reality.

fresh hot baguettes

to give to fork a lift
my toes felel the ground the most
when i'm a ballerina
can't stand
for too much now
dangerous...
snakes
automobiles
drugs
humans
people

to see
we dance without legs
and loose boneless arms flailing
back
and forth
like a pendulum
or a prom dress
telling a secret when the music and the spinnig gets really fast
cancer humming lungs
child birth with drugs
to smell the air seasoned with manure you will need to go to the south
to smell the air seasoned with mcdonalds fries you must go to the north
her nuckles cracked
like movie theater popcorn
monsters like this are like this

i cut it off

nucleaire non merci.

I hitched to Montargis, france and walked about 100 kilometers with a fantastic group of people walking from london to geneva to raise awareness for uranium mining and nuclear power. I never felt so connected to a group of people so instantaneously.

the grey sky opened its blue eyes and projected a rainbow

dover was dreary 3-4 hours of trying to hitch out in the rain led me to the last bus to London. The ticket man was rude. And the gentleman at the information desk neglected me and carried on a person conversation about how him and this other guy (a police officer actually) both just got a sidekick. And on the bus, the driver was frustrated that I didn't have a ticket o direct change.
The overnight fare to liverpool was booked so i tried to sleep in the station. But the station soon closed. So I tried to sleep in the central train station, but i was told this would close soon as well. So I walked.. and found an elevated railed in garden for a bed last night. I woke up to someone peeing on the outside wall of the garden. This was about 5 AM

While hitching I was asked over and over again... Obama?
Mind you most of the people I hitched with spoke little or no english.
We communicated with disorganized games of pictionary, one guy drawing stick figure with a black face then a stick figure with hair. Asking me if I was voting for Obama.
then I would write
Politic=Merde
and george bush = merde
This made them think... i guess she is okay for an american.

When I spent the night in Gorlitzer Park,centered around a train station that was bombed in world war II, I met this lady named catherine
catherine in the sun
wore a translucent door
you could ask but you alread knew
her thighs shaped fine art and shown through her thin dress
she asked for ten cents
it all makes cents for her
she wrote of her lover on the internet
his parents were catholic and disapproved
they found 20 dollars next to him when he
choked and died on his vomit
which made sense she was talking to me because I am 20
catherine in the sun told me
the night before heath ledger died
she watched a nights tale 12 times
for no reason why, she wrote about it on the internet
it all makes cents to here
catherine the hex in this sun
catherine the cat
oh tom the myspace editor
tom the tom cat better watch out
she is pregnat
and catherine is in love

another person from the park.

ol'jim at the guitar
playing a song he used to know
finding the strings
like a time machine
his fingers are slower than he remembered
lost in alcohol
always drunk in time
for wasting
he has the coolest jacket in town

machines of our genes

and we share 90 percent of the same genes with a banana.

I thought I could find a spot in the world where humans were...
less human I guess.
I think this is just La La land now.
It was my dream maybe to find a commune to live my life away from civilization and society. I thought maybe there would be more freedom in a commune.
But there isnt. Maybe even less.
And they still depend on the rest of the world in some way.
And ive found "hippies" to be some of the most closed minded people ive met.

There is no oasis or Eutopia hidden somewhere on earth.
it is just THIS.
Im serious.

Shitty, huh?
NO WAY.
Just realizing it is fuel to create your world into whatever you want.

I met some Rastamen in the park yesterday evening. I was just walking by myself along the river in Frankfurt.
And thes older black Carribean men maybe 30 years old (while offering me a beer) flag me down.
I hesitate for a moment. But the beer stole me.
So I sit down on the bench. Bob marley is playing from their boom box.
I saý softly "oh Bob Marley, nice!"
and one of the guy saýs "Bob Marlez is THE MAN isnt He!"
and I say "oh yeah, he speaks to all kinds of people"
and they thought i said he speaks For all kinds of people. Which i guess is also true. Then the really high rasta guy sitting on the end of the bench mumbles something half in italian and half it carribean jibberish.
They told me about rasta culture and how they have a good time all day everyday because there aint no time to wait for a good time. And this is what rasta life is about. And its even more rasta-cool if you invite other people to join you in your permi-party.
Then they rolled me a whole joint for myself and I told them I couldnät smoke it all... But they told me I was rasta girl and that I had to. so I did... and I was.......... rea..sd..kjjfucking ... -high.


maybe it is better for the earth if we are not sustainable. I mean... It seems like we have past the point of no return as far as exploiting the earth and the beginning of the end of the human race. So instead of trying to prolong human existence through conservation we should EXPLOIT! EXPLOIT! EXPLOIT! The sooner we die the sooner the earth can begin to heal itself.

ender never went to the bio-party to talk science.

how can it be sold cold

really you have to listen close

it really is that simple
it really is
really

Im on the internet a lot for being over here.
iäm such a loser

when the y and z are switched it really changes something
makes you think
which camer first... the german keyboard or the english...
and why the fuck would they only change two letters
haha

you are not to blame

I am staying with these beautiful Bulgarian girls. we just smoked a hookah and ate lots of ice cream. They are always doing so much for me. i say thank you but thank you is just so insincere now a days.

for ever action there is an equal and opposite reaction

newton has it all figured out

Warm pretzels and

I love your money


My friends and my family are all being diagnosed with This and That.
It seems as though the real disease is good health now a days.
What disease or Syndrom do I have?
I never want to go to the doctors.
Im sure they will find something wrong with me.
As our community´s and homes become torn and seperate
and we can only confide in ourselves. And we start worrying more and more about ourselves and sometimes we realise we have nothing to worry about which in turn creates more worry. And then you think... ohwait maybe this is just one of those diseases. I can take care of myself. I will go get one of those new drugs for these new diseases.
A worry is wasted withouth something to worry about. But if the doctor says I have somethign to worry about and take care of. Then maybe having this disease with drugs to releive it will make me less worried.


The city is time
the people move clockwise and orderly around it.

I think pigeons are superb creatures. Like dandelions... they adapt and thrive in anysituation human beings force them to live in. And humans are ruthless too. Putting pointy needles on ledges and windowsills, and dumping poisons all around. And despite all the hostility the pigeon and the dandelion still choose to live with us. AND THRIVE they do wether we like it or not.

The Holy Mountain is a bloody brilliant movie.
I watched it in Italian and it still blew my mind. The pictures of beautiful.

You are always home when you are sleeping

the artists are stealing our thoughts.

the television is 32inches to one person and to the other the television fills the house.
Yes the television literally is 32 inches
but also yes the sound fromt he television and the light emitted can fill a whole house.
So how big is the television

writing in my journal a couple days ago...
"delooosional
is my state of mid.
a half liter of Barbera (wine)
and an entire pizza
I just went poop
Thez have a special ass faucet extension
like an asshose or something
the sexxy ass hose
I still have one more glass to finish
I think Im going to calll my friends soon
Drunk Dial... w00t.
there is a cute old man shitting
i mean sitting
maybe shit sitting
ahahhahahha"

Im a loser baby


I flew over the swiss alps to get to germany. my brains exploded on the window.

then about 20 minutes to frankfurt the earth looked like a giant patchwork blanket. It was disgusting. the land was raped and used for agricutlure. There were one or two areas with trees but they were all in lines, orderly, and militant looking.



sperate but equal
Rich P00r
2+2=5

John lennon and ravioli

I never really took to heart what John lennon was sining about until this trip. He really is a legend.

Today I ate homemade ravioli and drank homemade wine.
But although eating makes me really happy.
Being close to you makes me even happier.
Ive been having curious thoughts about everyone at home.
Please tell me what youve been doing. And thinking. Whoever you are.

The beginning of the end of humanity was when we started farming. Because that is when we started to play god.
farming is the route of all evil.

time is not teh answer
now is the answer

dont swing without your weapon

im serious

Inertia is reallity. so dont jump too high.

I do not know if I will have these desires or a long for you a year from now or even 5 minutes from now. But right now....

Cancer is a mirror of the outside

I asked him if these people were poor
he told me that they were happy

the alchemist tought me
That so long as I am happy I am doing what is best for the world. Happiness fuels the sould of the earth

please be happy

epicurious says that in order to be happy...
we need a good sense of community, to take time off to re0evaluate our lives, and FRIEnds

how can i go forward when i dont know which way Im facing

socialism

I need to start a revolution.

I have a deep unguided, but passionate aversion towards the government. "The only people whom are free in this country are the Kings and the homeless." The rest of us are just seen as appliances. They try to make us feel like we have power by letting us vote. But where will voting in this country take us when we are up to our waist in quick sand. The more we kick and scream and protest, the more they manipulate to try and pacify us to thinking that they care and that they are listening and that we can make a difference. But really ... look around... the rich are getting rich and the poor peoples ribs are already being crushed by the inescapable pressure. And the presidential candidates are all on the same side, making sure we produce and consume just like our parents in the tv dinner days. I received a ticket today because my tags were expired and I didn't have any insurance... why? Because I can't afford it. And now i'm 100 dollars poorer due to a ticket... AND they expect me to get insurance AND tags within a 10 day period. I obviously don't have any money if I don't have either of these anyways I don't see how fining me 100 dollars helps me get car insurance.

I need to do something.
but how?

Casale Monferrato

our flight arrived late... dark-bedtime-last-bus-to-town Oclock. The logical money concious decision would be to spend the night in the airport. But, WE fueled by the energy and excitement of a new place (FUCKING ITALY GAWD!!!) and the idea of getting really drunk eating lots of pizza and passing out in a park sounded magnificant.
SO we took the 45 minute bus into Milan, one of the fashion capitols of the world. We got off the bus still Thrilled to be in this new place. BUT very soon we realized there was no one on the streets. We were in the heart of the town and all the shops were closed. Not even a McDonalds to be found. So we wandered about aimlessly, not knowing what to do with ourselves. Also realizing how sleepy we were. Still wandering around we tossed around the idea of sleeping outside the train station, as we had not seen a single park.
And in the distance, a light of hope. A kiosk in the Median of this main road in Milan was open. They sold Biere and Italian Hoagies!!! This brought us much cheer. Jake had a couple beers and I had a spicey eggplant and roasted red pepper hoagie. This made both of us exremely happy people. But the Post hoagie-beer effect ended up making us even more tired then before. So we dragged our lazy bodies around to the nearest hotel and paid our dues to this man with glasses with only one lense whom spoke absolutely no english. and slept in a nice bed and watched italian porn adds and Italian Mtv (this italian thing is seriously a whole new world).
Next day we cought the train to CASALE MONFERRATO. This involed 2 train changes.
we accidentaly missed our stop by one station. It was a small town stop so we worried about how long it would be until the next train. In agreement we began to hike back to the previous stop. I tried to hitch hike... only one car passed. we got no more then a Kilometer when I, still oblivious to the idea that some people do NOT speak english, asked a middle aged lady fixing up her flower box with Italian accordion music in the background for directions to the previous stop. She looked blankly at us. Jake chimed in with, "do you speak english, we are american?" and she replied "AYE MAMA MIA, AMERICANOS!" and proceded to give us instructions in Italian. I gathered from her that the previous train stop was too far away. So Jake and I walked back to the train stop. We desifered the Italian train departures chart and found a train to be arriving in jsut 30 minutes. I contacted our host Christian and told him to expect us around 5.
From emails Jake and I imagined Christhian to be this middle aged woman with an alternative living facility that need some help gardening. But when we met him he was not middle aged or a lady at all. A hadsome 29yearold hippy Italian greeted us at the Train station with a hug. He invited us to a feast at his friends that evening.
When he mentioned it I imagined a drive to the otherside of town with a couple friends of his. But we ended up driving for and hour or two into the mountains while the sun set. Feilds of Canola flowers blooming and poppys along the road. Up and UP we went into the mountains passing 800yr old churches and homes and towns. When finally we reached the town Union Valley (i forget the italian name). There were hundreds of people drinking wine and eating thin crust pizza on this organic farm on top of a mountain. They wine was made and sold on the farm 100percent organic for only £2 a bottle. The best wine Ive ever tried. All the people were awesome but unfortunately most of them didnt speak english. .... to be continued

Pasta and Wine

Hello All! I'm in Liverpool right now. Lots of down time but lots of cool people.

This Thursday Jake and I will fly to Italy to do some Help Exchange halfway between Milan and Torino. Jake will be staying for about a week and I may be staying for about 3 weeks. Here is a description from the host of the place we will be staying:

"Me, Cristhian I live in a house just at the border of the city. Is a small
house with a big garden, and I host here travellers and volunteers. We will
live in a communitarian spirit, but depend of the moment sometimes you can
live only with me, sometimes we can be a lot of people (last summer we was
13 for two weeks). At the moments there are three bed's places and a lot of
space on the carpets and on the benches and the cots. Also in the garden
there is space for tents.
Sometimes we can have guest that pay for the accommodation so, we will leave
our beds to them.

The house, that is a kind of ashram, have some rules about the community
life, for stay together in the best way. For who want to join there are
three steps: visitor, helper, volunteer.
The visitors can stay a couple of days... just observing and enjoy...
The helpers they will do karma yoga. Karma yoga mean work and give yourself
to the community, enjoying every moment. Giving, we will receive. You will
see. You can choose your work.
Some exemple that things that can be do are:
-Cook
-Collect food (some shop give us fruits and vegetables)
-Clean and take care of the house and/or the garage
-Take care of the garden
-Help the community and the others organizations with preparations of
some
events
-Participate to the artistic, cultural, and social life of the city
-Paint and draw
-ecc...

After some time you can become volunteer, for a time that we will plan
together. Being volunteer for us mean being yourself. We believe that every
person has role in the world, and you can do what you feel, and grow. We can
have a lot of possibilities for you to put in practice your dreams, we are
building a lot of connections in the city.

Is hard to explain, so if you feel come, and if you don't feel anymore you
can remember that you are always free to do what you want.
And if you come if you want, I suggest to bring pictures of your country,
and/or photo of some of your adventures, and everything else you want to
share with the local community. One of the our "effect" are the
intercultural learning, where different cultures are a big resource to
connect and share for grow."

tea and wankers

warning... i'm a terrible writer...many grammar errors, mispellings, etc

So excited i couldn't sleep for the entire plane ride, I read the alchemist strait through. A fantastic and inspiring book. I thank Teri for giving the book to me because it helped me further understand for myself why I feel so driven to travel.
On the airplane from Chicago to Ottawa I saw a guy with a food not bombs patch and I felt driven to become friends with him. But I lost my opportunity when we got mixed up in the different lines and people. I did see him again. Arriving in London 5:30 AM I noticed he was on the same plane as we were stepping off the plane. so I caught up with him in the hallway on the way to Customs. I commented on his cool shoes then started talking about travel plans and stuff. Just before customs we agree to wait for each other in the baggage area.
I watched him get through customs with ease as my customs lady kept asking me question after question and eventually she handed me a white sheet and asked me to sit down and wait. I waited and waited and then she me and my bag and had me sit down in the windowless room without giving me a clear reason why. My white sheet explained that there was a 50/50 chance I could be sent home. she told me she'd return in 30 minutes, but the 30 minutes turned into 2 hours. She invited me into this small room where she interrogated me about why I was going to England etc. I waited another 2 hours until she finally said I was free to go and "Welcome to the U.K.!" I hugged her because i could tell she hated her job.
I took the train into town to meet my friend Kristy in Trafalgar square. It was such a relief to see her. She took me back to her dorm room in the far east of London. I took a nap. When I woke up Kristy took me up to Camden market. The market was a maze to get through and even larger then Seattles market. Although this market consisted mainly of Clothes and bongs. It had this AWESOME rave shop the size of a football field... almost. The shop had neon crotchless and nipple less clothes, skirts with giant hoops, everything looked extraterrestrial.
Later that night me and some of Kristy's friends and I shared some duty-free vodka and had a great time... haha.
Thursday I woke up and went to Cultural Politics with Kristy. One of the best lectures i've ever sat through. The teacher was this middle aged lady with a giant tribal tattoo on her arm, dreadlocks, nose ring, and rolled a cigarette during every break. She discussed the myths propagated by the concept of science. It was refreshing.
Later that day I noticed the kid from the airplane somehow contacted me via couch surfing. This was bizarre considering we didn't even exchange names.
So Kristy and I read that he was going to volunteer at a vegan cafe in the evening. Kristy only knew of one Vegan cafe in London, so we decided to visit it.www.pogocafe.co.uk We both got coffe and this amazing moist vegan mango cake. David... the kid from the airplane never showed up. But I asked the lady at the counter if I could use her phone. I called him but his phone didn't work... so I called his friend Chris.
David met us at the cafe. went back to where he was staying which his friends were squatting out.
This was amazing. I've never seen a functioning squat so clean, neat and awesome. The squat was nicer then mine or Kristy's apartment and they weren't paying a thing for it. haha. We drank cider which is 2 pounds for 2 liters of sparkling alcoholic champagne like beverage. AMAZING. Later that night Chris came home... a kick-ass fella from Australia. Had a great time talking to him and david and watching stupid Youtube videos (yeah the squat had internet too)d Spent the night at the Squat.
....

i'll write more later i guess.. runnning out of time. I"m meeting up with my friend Rhys tonight whom I met in Tasmania.

Also.. thanks so much for all the gifts and treasures you guys gave to me for the trip. Very nice of all of you.

I'll never forget your butts.

I've been listening to hip-hop a lot thanks to Jordan. haha.

xox xoxoxoxxoxo