-

“Love the quick profit, the annual raise,

vacation with pay. Want more

of everything ready-made. Be afraid

to know your neighbors and to die.

And you will have a window in your head.

Not even your future will be a mystery

any more. Your mind will be punched in a card

and shut away in a little drawer.

When they want you to buy something

they will call you. When they want you

to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something

that won’t compute. Love the Lord.

Love the world. Work for nothing.

Take all that you have and be poor.

Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace

the flag. Hope to live in that free

republic for which it stands.

Give your approval to all you cannot

understand. Praise ignorance, for what man

has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.

Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.

Say that your main crop is the forest

that you did not plant,

that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested

when they have rotted into the mold.

Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus

that will build under the trees

every thousand years.

Listen to carrion — put your ear

close, and hear the faint chattering

of the songs that are to come.

Expect the end of the world. Laugh.

Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful

though you have considered all the facts.

So long as women do not go cheap

for power, please women more than men.

Ask yourself: Will this satisfy

a woman satisfied to bear a child?

Will this disturb the sleep

of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.

Lie down in the shade. Rest your head

in her lap. Swear allegiance

to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos

can predict the motions of your mind,

lose it. Leave it as a sign

to mark the false trail, the way

you didn’t go.

Be like the fox

who makes more tracks than necessary,

some in the wrong direction.

Practice resurrection.”

―wendell berry

Paradise Lost

One day a few years back I was hanging out in Berlin, Germany.  Muck'n it up with
the squatter kids and searching for Paradise.  Living the romantic life of filth, and slums,
eating trash and stolen food, trading in cans for beer and giving the rest of the world and other life styles the big middle finger.  What the hell.. it was all fun for a little bit.
Anyways... I was really broke.  I had a few dollars left to my name which I needed for a ferry and a bus ticket to catch my flight back.  I didn't feel very welcomed with the squatter kids even though
they were nice enough to give me a space to sleep.  I didn't look or talk like them so I felt excluded.
I don't blame them you have all of these free-loading kids and hippies that have some dreamy ideals
of squats floating in and out of their home as the pleased.  Thus my naive search for utopia was coming to and end.
Anyways, so I played the part for a little bit.  Collecting beer cans where ever I could find them
and returning them for a little cash, watching people eat their food and licking their plate after they
left.  I was  garbage picking, beer steeling, can collecting scum.  I was proud of it for a while until
I realized how desperate I really was and how my life was becoming fixated on money because my
lack of it.  I hated this.  So I decided Fuck it with the cans.  Fuck it with money and a whole
new world opened up to me.  I made a friend and she invited me to go down to France and partake
in this anti-nuclear walk, where we would get fed if we marched with them.  So we hitch hiked down with some fast driving Germans in a sports car.  When we met them it was in this little french town and a local anti-nuclear supporter bought everyone pizza and let us sleep in her house.  The hospitality of the French was unbelievable fresh fruit Breads and cheeses at every town from supporters. 
I've taken 2 trips of this kind.  Both times I went with very little money, running out towards the end.  Going through of period of suffering from lack of money fallowed by me saying "fuck it" fallowed
by having some magical experience that I wouldn't have otherwise had if I did have money. 

Store Room Leondard Cohen
It’s not the wind that keeps you up, It’s not the snow It’s not the moon coming like a headlight through your window It’s not the thumbnail of a screen That scrapes away your dream
It's just this man, Taking what he needs, From the store room,
It’s not the news of burning towns That ruins your mind like a spoon you turn and you turn But it won’t unwind Though these wars you did not start They don’t tear your sleep apart
It's just a man, Taking what he needs, From the store room,
And now this woman by your side Well she’s is asleep And there's nothing you can give her, and there's nothing you want to keep You don't even try to prove that the noise is neighbours making love.
It's just a man, Taking what he needs, From the store room,
Well go to sleep and change the locks When you wake up Share your toast maybe spill some coffee from your cup Oh there’s nothing left to choose And there is so much more to loose.
There’s this man, Taking what he needs, From the store room,
It’s not the wind that keeps you up, It’s not the snow It’s not the moon coming like a headlight through your window It’s not the thumbnail of a screen That scrapes away your dream
It's just a man, Taking what he needs, From the store room,
It’s not the news of burning towns That ruins your mind like a spoon you turn and you turn But won’t unwind No these wars you did not start They don’t tear your sleep apart
It's just a man, Taking what he needs, From the store room,
And now the woman by your side Well she’s awake But there's nothing you can give her, and there's nothing you want to take You don't even try to prove that the noise is neighbours making love.
It's just a man, Taking what he needs, From the store room,
Oh go to sleep and change the locks When you wake up Share your toast maybe spill a little coffee from your cup He’s got nothing left to choose And you’ve got so much more to loose.
It's just a man, Taking what he needs, From the store room

the cost of convenience

Dear god,

please save us form ourselves....

Exhibit A:






Exhibit B:



Exhibit C:



Exhibit D:






Exhibit E:


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

some thoughts

On Panhandling/Begging

Panhandling is an expression of the reality of our society.

It makes people uncomfortable who experience it who are not in that situation.

Often times these people are pushed to outskirts, it is made illegal, called soliciting. 

It tends to bother non-beggars, people who have money, so in an effort
to give non-beggars a more comfortable shopping experience beggars are
often banned from an area or a storefront for this reason. 

Money is influence.

People with money have the option to give the beggar money.

People who are willing may have some qualifications for such a person
or maybe will opt to buy them food instead of giving them money.

some beggars have elaborate stories.  They could be true or made up.
But whether or not the story is factual or not there is a true expression
of need.

There is a double standard applied to beggars.  A lot of people will say that
they only want to give a person money if they know that they are going to
spend it on a necessity such as food, or paying rent.
The contradiction is that a person with money has the privilege of spending money
on whatever they want.

A common defense for a person not to give a beggar money is that they
may be feeding their drug habit. 

This line of thinking may be detrimental to the "legitimate" story of a person
who is actually distressed and stranded and really needs money to catch a
bus.  

Human services and non-profits replace the kindness of individuals.

When one donates money to a non-profit there are many hidden costs associated
with that organization for example the Executive director of the Sierra club makes
upwards of 200,000.  Non-profits become competitive job markets. 
And when something becomes your job naturally there is a desire to
increase pay.  

not quite twins

I asked a guy if I could plug my computer in under his table at the coffee shop. 
He got up and said that since he has no "technology" and he is at the "technology table"
that he would relinquish the table.  I assured him that wasn't necessary, but he didn't
hear me with his head still half wrapped in his book.  He proceeded to reach in his
pocket and pull out his cell phone and say "well I actually do have this for technology"
he proceeded to show me a photo of two young boys with matching green coats.
"twins?" I asked.  "Not quite," he replied, "they are cousins and they are two days
apart."....  "The one on the left gets into all the trouble and the one on the right is tags
along for the adventure but keeps the other one out of real trouble"... "they are going to live together
in college"  .... he told me a few other plans he had for these little kids.  I told him to
write them down for them so they knew what to do with their lives.  And he said that
they won't be needing anything like that... it's just going to happen.

And now I sit in the seat at the "technology table" warmed by a pleasant
 and unusual interaction with a stranger.

Such a simple thing to make my day.  

Blah blah blah

Each year I think I am more and more surprised by the speed of time.
is the world spinning faster?  is that how it works?  it seems like it.

Each winter I am also surprised by how short the days get.  I

swear that each year they are shorter than the year before and for longer.

My love/hate relationship with winter is a struggle.  

A time to recoil and reflect, I say in the dead of summer
romanticizing the season of BLAH's which is the way I 

feel now that I am in the thick of it.  

"You just need to take a vitamin D supplement or

go tanning or something like that"

I keep saying to myself that I am waiting for something
What am I waiting for?

whatever. blah blah blah blah.